The 3 areas where most of us face challenges are relationships, motivation, and dealing with hardships. Here we explore a different perspective to look at these hurdles.
1. Hardships are blessings in disguise:
– Difficulties allow us to learn and become stronger.
– Overcoming challenges can give us a sense of accomplishment.
– Tough times can teach us valuable lessons for the future.
– Adversity can lead us to discover new strengths and abilities.
2. Real motivation comes from your own passion:
– Pursuing our passions gives us a sense of purpose and meaning.
– When we love what we do, it doesn’t feel like work.
– Following our interests can lead to greater success and fulfillment.
– True motivation comes from within, not from external sources.
3. Expectations ruin relationships:
– Unrealistic expectations put pressure on ourselves and others.
– When we judge people based on our expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment.
– Letting go of expectations can help us build more authentic and satisfying relationships.
– Instead of having specific expectations, focus on communication, understanding, and acceptance.
1. Hardships are blessings in disguise:
Alright, so this is not a surprise. Each one of us has had some tough times in life. Some of us could very well be right in the middle of a challenging phase of life. Life has this uncanny habit of coming up with such surprises. You’re minding your own business, enjoying life, and then BAM! Out of nowhere, negativity strikes.
Life is full of ups and downs. Ya, you’ve heard a lot of that earlier. But, seriously let’s try to figure out if there’s a silver lining to this cloud. Is the blessing-in-disguise stuff actually real? My plan is to dig into my personal life and share incidents that could be of some help to anyone who is hunting for that glimmer of hope.
I clearly remember being in the first year of my engineering, all of 17. My mother had a near-fatal asthma attack. I was the only one at home and the situation was such that mom had to be taken to the hospital immediately. We had no time to wait for the ambulance. Driving her to the facility was the only option. The only exposure I had to driving was observing my father driving and I had a strong desire to get my hands on the wheel. But this was definitely not the opportunity that I was looking for. Nevertheless, there was no time to think.
The next thing I knew was that I put my mother in the car and was driving to the Hospital. She was with the doctors just in time.
I thought this was enough adventure for my age. But life had plans for me. I got my first-year results and they were far from satisfactory. In fact, I was facing a situation where I was required to appear for 2 semesters at the same time if I had to complete my degree on time.
Alright, I said challenge accepted.
It’d be interesting to tell you that all this was happening in the week leading up to my birthday. As if this was not enough my brother had a schizophrenia attack right on my birthday. Great, now we have the complete picture – Mom in the ICU, 2 semesters to clear in engineering, and a perfect brother turned mad for life.
At 17, life could not have gotten worse. As strange as it might sound, here I must tell you, that I was not scared at all. Or let me put it this way, my mind was so occupied with things that I had to take care of that there was no place for fear. What followed was a disciplined life. My focus was at its peak. The only thing I knew was that if I could pull this off, nothing would ever be able to stop me in life. This was motivation enough to ride over this wave rather than drown forever.
These incidents had a deep positive dent in my personality. It’s not that life has been a bed of roses after that. But there is a default positive streak deep within my subconscious. The point that I wish to drive here is that no matter how difficult the situation might appear in the present, rest assured that one day it’ll be your past.
My life has been quite filled with such incidents. If I can get past these circumstances, then the only lesson of life out of this mess is that – IT IS POSSIBLE.
I live by the principle that if anyone in the world has done it, then it is possible. Just think about it. When life throws you off balance, it’s the perfect opportunity to build those muscles of faith. The next time life throws a curveball your way, don’t duck for cover. Instead, catch it with a smile and turn that negative experience into a blessing in disguise.
Finally – when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade !!!
2. “What is the best source of motivation – proving your capabilities to your haters or your supporters?
Is there something else that could be the driving force?
Let’s delve into the mysteries of motivation.
All of us have haters, people who don’t like us, or family members who don’t approve of the paths we pursue. This group is a collection of everyone from friends, loved ones, family, colleagues, and of course the people who genuinely just hate you. While these can be a huge source of motivation and proving them wrong can be eternally satisfying. However, this is like measuring yourself with someone else’s yardstick. It is like limiting your growth to beat external expectations. There is a fair possibility that you could be capable of much more but you end up accomplishing just enough to prove a point to your haters.
The other side of the coin is supporters. Undoubtedly, all of us have a select group of people who admire us, support us, encourage us, and inspire us in whatever it is that we may decide to do. Here again, the source of motivation is worthy enough to push us hard enough to deliver. The feeling of living up to the expectations of our supporters is definitely worth the grind. But, again is it adequate to fulfill your purpose in life?
So, what is that elusive driving force beyond haters and supporters?
It is your own personal passion. That inner flame that burns bright, guiding your every step. When you tap into your own authentic desires – that is when the magic happens. It’s like the universe aligns itself just for you. Your passion becomes the guiding star that points you toward your dreams. It does not matter who is watching or whether anyone is watching at all.
My personal experience in this regard is clear. It’s neither the haters nor the supporters. You are your only motivation. Feel the fire within. Listen to the song of your soul. Believe in yourself and push the envelope. You will be amazed to discover what you are made of.
This journey called “life” is a wild one. Trust me on this. So, go out there, and let your passion be the fuel that propels you to greatness. The world is full of extraordinary stories. Yours could easily be the next one. Be your own motivation.
3. Expectations ruin relationships:
At times, in relationships, people feel disappointed by the expectations they have of others. What follows is lots of disappointment. The relationship starts to suffocate you. You start bearing feelings of resentment. Our personal space appears to be compromised. In general, there is discontent and a complete loss of comfort.
What comes next is the regular blame game. What is noteworthy here is that it is not the relationship that is going wrong. Also, it is not the individuals involved who are at fault. Most often when asked for a reason of discontent, couples do not have any serious reasons for the rift. It is wrong to blame the circumstances or the situations because they are mostly universal in nature.
The keyword here is “Expectations”. It is this subconscious habit of expecting the other person to behave a certain way that is the root cause of all the trouble. The bigger problem here is that we do not agree that we expect the world to be a certain way and mostly it is quite the opposite. Most people refuse sternly when asked about expectant behavior. The most common response is,” I have never expected anything from anyone”.
Visualize this, you send a casual text to a friend asking if he/she was available for a cup of coffee. That’s not too difficult to imagine, right? You see that your message has been delivered. All’s well until this point. You realize that your message has been read as well. Now, the discomfort starts to creep in. One thought leads to another. Why is there no reply? Am I so unimportant? Is he/she so busy? How is this possible? I just asked for a coffee. What’s my mistake?
The next stage – the blame game begins. We start assuming that the other person is irresponsible, ill-mannered, heartless, emotionless, and all such similar adjectives.
A little introspection will reveal that all of us are guilty of such behavior at some point or the other. It is these small things that snowball into huge issues finally pushing the relationship to a point of no repair.
My suggestion is as simple as it can be.
We’re not mind readers. If your partner does something that leaves you scratching your head, don’t stew in disappointment. Talk it out! Clear the air, and remember to use your “I” statements instead of “You” accusations. Find a middle ground?” Trust me, it works wonders.
Embrace the unpredictable. Relationships are like a box of chocolates, and sometimes you’ll get the one filled with weird flavors like broccoli-flavored truffles.
Life is messy, and so are relationships. Embrace the quirks, the unexpected detours, and remember that disappointment can lead to growth and some hilarious stories to tell your grandkids.
So, remember these steps: low expectations, finding humor, communicating, and embracing the unpredictable. Because in the end, it’s not about avoiding disappointments entirely, but rather, navigating through them with a smile and a sense of humor.
The three valuable lessons of life are worth keeping in mind as we navigate our journey. Firstly, hardships are blessings in disguise. Every difficult moment we encounter, however painful, allows us to learn and grow as individuals. Secondly, real motivation comes from our innate passion. If we stay true to our hearts and pursue our interests, we are more likely to succeed and be happy. Lastly, expectations ruin relationships. Too often, we hold unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others, which only leads to disappointment and heartache. It’s important to let go of expectations and focus on building genuine relationships with people.